email page    print page

All Topic Reviews
269 Amazing Sex GamesA History of MarriageA Pocket History of Sex in the Twentieth CenturyActionAll the WayAlways Forever MaybeAmerica UnzippedAmerica UnzippedAmerica's Sexual TransformationAmerican EugenicsAmerican GirlsAmerican HookupAn Interpretation of DesireAnarchism & SexualityAnatomy of a BoyfriendAnatomy of LoveAnthony GoicoleaAnticlimaxArt and HomosexualityArt/PornAssuming a BodyAutoportraitBachelors and BunniesBecoming OrgasmicBehind the Red DoorBest Sex Writing 2005Better Sex Through YogaBetter Sex Through YogaBetter Than EverBetween Mom and JoBeyond Diversity DayBeyond SexualityBeyond SpeechBeyond ToleranceBig Porn IncBill HensonBodies in DoubtBody ImagesBonkBoys & SexBoys Don't CryBreasts - A DocumentaryBrothelBuying SexCase Studies in Communication about SexCase Studies in Sexual DevianceCaught in the WebCelibaciesChildren and SexualityChildren and the Politics of SexualityChildren with Sexual Behavior ProblemsChildren, Sexuality and SexualizationChristy ReportClay's WayClinical Manual of Women's Mental HealthClose toYouClumsyCold HitCollege SexComing of Age in AmericaConfessions of the Other MotherCybersexCyborgasmDare... to Make Love with 2, 3, 4... or MoreDare... to Try BisexualityDating: Philosophy for EveryoneDeadly ButterflyDebating Same-Sex MarriageDeep GossipDeparting from DevianceDesire, Love, and IdentityDigital DiariesDilemmas of DesireDirty MindsDirty StoriesDisorders Of DesireDisorders of Sex Development:Doing ItDoing ItDoing It Down UnderDown and Dirty Sex SecretsDude, You're a FagEarly Embraces IIIEmerald City BluesEmotionally InvolvedEnjoying Guilty PleasuresErotic CapitalErotic InnocenceErotic PassionsEthics, Sexual Orientation, and Choices about ChildrenEveryday PornographyEvolution and Human Sexual BehaviorExploring TranssexualismFade to BlackFagbugFaking ItFamilies Like MineFast GirlsFinal JeopardyFinding H. F.Fire on the Mountain DVDFor Lesbian ParentsFor The Bible Tells Me SoForbiddenFrictionFrom Disgust to HumanityFrom Shame to SinFuckologyGay, Straight, and the Reason WhyGender in the MirrorGender OutlawsGeography ClubGetting OffGetting RealGetting the Love You WantGirls & SexGirls Gone MildGirls Gone SkankGLBTQGoddess WorshipGoing DownGood GirlsGood PornGood Sex IllustratedGreat Answers to Difficult Questions About SexGuide To Getting It OnHandbook New Sexuality StudiesHandbook of Counseling and Psychotherapy with Lesbian, Gay, and Bisexual ClientsHard to GetHardcore from the HeartHear Us Out!HeterosyncraciesHit & MissHomosexualitiesHookedHooking UpHow Sex Became a Civil LibertyHow Sex ChangedHow Sex WorksHow To Be GayHow to Do Things with Pornography How to Give Her Absolute PleasureHow to Have Magnificent SexHow to Make Great Love to a ManHow to Make Great Love to a WomanHow to Make Love Like a Porn StarHow to Think More About SexHypnography for MenHypnography for WomenHysterical MenI'd Rather Eat ChocolateI'll Be Your MirrorIf Men Could TalkImpotenceIn a Queer VoiceIn Praise of the WhipIn the Mood, AgainInsatiable WivesIntense Games DVDInvestigating Young People's Sexual CulturesIt's Perfectly NormalIt's Perfectly NormalItís Your HourJane Sexes It UpJock SturgesJust Between UsKama-Sutra--The Secrets to the Art of LoveKids Gone WildLegalizing ProstitutionLegalizing ProstitutionLet's Get This StraightLets Talk about SexLetters to Penthouse Vol. 50Likely to DieLittle ChicagoLoose GirlLosing Matt ShepardLoveLove and DesireLove and SexLove JunkieLove Lust DesireLove SickLustMad for FoucaultMagical ThinkingMaking American BoysMaking Babies the Hard WayMaking Chastity SexyMaking Peace with PornMaking ScenesMale SexualityMalefemaleMaster BreastsMating in CaptivityMedicalized MasculinitiesMelancholia and MoralismMenMental Health Issues in Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender Communities MiddlesexMoney ShotMoral Panics, Sex PanicsMy Girlfriend Comes to the City and Beats Me UpMy HeartbeatMy Horizontal LifeName All the AnimalsNatural BeautyNerveNerveNew Sex Now DVDNightswimmingNone of the AboveNormalNormalNot GayNot My ShameNot The Marrying KindNot Under My RoofNothing PinkOedipus WreckedOn Being RapedOne Hot SecondOne Hour in ParisOpenOrgasmOrgasm Inc.OrgasmologyOrgasmsOver 100 Truly Astonishing Sex TipsOverexposedPeekPeriod PiecesPervPhilosophizing About Sex Philosophy of Love, Sex, and MarriagePhilosophy of Love, Sex, and Marriage: An IntroductionPhilosophy of Sex and LovePin-up GrrrlsPINSPlease Don't Kill the FreshmanPolicing SexualityPolyamory in the 21st CenturyPornPorn NationPorn StudiesPorn UniversityPornifiedPornlandPornographyPornographyPornographyPornography, Sex, and FeminismPosition Of The Day PlaybookPray the Gay AwayPredatorsPremarital Sex in AmericaPrinciples and Practice of Sex TherapyPrivate Dicks - Men ExposedPrivate Practices DVDProblem GirlsPrudePsychopathia SexualisQueer PhilosophyRapeRape Is RapeRated X - A Journey Through PornRazmatazRecruiting Young LoveRedefining GirlyRedefining RapeRegulating SexRelax, It's Just SexRethinking Gender and Sexuality in ChildhoodRethinking RapeRunning with ScissorsSatan's Sex BookScreening SexSelling Sex ShortSexSex & Single GirlsSex (Ed)Sex and SpiritSex and the American TeenagerSex and the SoulSex and the Soul, Updated EditionSex and WarSex at DawnSex by NumbersSex DetoxSex Fiends, Perverts, and PedophilesSex in AntiquitySex in CrisisSex in the World of MythSex ObjectSex OffendersSex on the BrainSex PositionsSex Q & ASex, Family, and the Culture WarsSex, or the UnbearableSex, Therapy, and KidsSex, Time and PowerSextasySexting and Young PeopleSexual ArtSexual Boundary ViolationsSexual DevianceSexual DisordersSexual EcstasySexual EthicsSexual FluiditySexual IntelligenceSexual Orientation and Psychodynamic PsychotherapySexual Orientation and School PolicySexual PleasureSexual PredatorsSexual Teens, Sexual MediaSexuality in AdolescenceSexuationSexyBookShameShameShamelessShy GirlSlutWalkSmall FavorsSmutSocial Control of Sex OffendersSome Assembly RequiredSplit ScreenStir-FryStraight to JesusStrange BedfellowsStripped BareSurviving Sexual ViolenceSymptoms of Being HumanTalkTalk to Me FirstTechniques of PleasureTestosterone RexThe Anthropology of SexThe BabiesThe Better Sex Guide to the Kama SutraThe Big Book of PornThe Birth of the PillThe Blue Moon Erotic Reader IIIThe BodyThe Breast BookThe Breath of Tantric LoveThe Busy Couple's Guide to Great SexThe Case of the Female OrgasmThe Chemistry Between UsThe Clitoral TruthThe Dangerous Art of Blending InThe Education of SophieThe Emergence of SexualityThe End Of AliceThe End of SexThe Erotic EdgeThe Erotic Lives of WomenThe Essential KamasutraThe Evolution of BeautyThe Fate of GenderThe First Man-Made ManThe First TimeThe Gay Baby BoomThe Good Vibrations Guide to SexThe Happy Hook-UpThe Hite ReportThe Humble Little CondomThe Illustrated Guide to Extended Massive OrgasmThe Illustrated Story of OThe Incurable RomanticThe Love CureThe Madness of WomenThe Men They Will BecomeThe Mirror of LoveThe Miseducation of Cameron PostThe Moral Panics of SexualityThe Naked Truth About SexThe Nature of Sexual DesireThe New Erotic PhotographyThe New Gay TeenagerThe Notebook GirlsThe Only Girl in the CarThe Order of the Poison OakThe Origins of SexThe Other HollywoodThe Other PlaceThe Other Side of DesireThe Perils of MasculinityThe Perversion of YouthThe PervertThe Phenomenology of Sex, Love, and IntimacyThe Philosophy of PornographyThe Philosophy of Sex: Contemporary ReadingsThe Pleasure's All MineThe Politics Of LustThe Porn TrapThe Pornographer's GriefThe Pornography IndustryThe Praeger Handbook of TranssexualityThe Psychodynamics of Gender and Gender RoleThe Purity MythThe Real Truth About Teens and SexThe Right to Be ParentsThe Secret Lives of GirlsThe Sex Addiction WorkbookThe Sex Lives of TeenagersThe Sex MythThe Shared HeartThe Sleep of ReasonThe Smart Girl's Guide to PornThe State of AffairsThe Story of SexThe SurrenderThe Ten Minute Sexual SolutionThe Tenth CircleThe Transformations of GwenThe Transformations of GwenThe Trauma MythThe Ultimate Guide to Sex and DisabilityThe Vagina MonologuesThe ValleyThe Violence of CareThe Virgin BlueThe Virginity ClubThings Tom LikesThings We Didn't Talk About When I Was a GirlThinking KinkThinking XXXToo Hot to HandleTransTransTransgender Children and YouthUltimate JudgementUltimate SexUndoing GenderUnlikelyUntangling the WebUntrue VirginVirgin NationVirgin Sex for GirlsVirgin Sex for GuysVirginity LostWhat Does Consent Really Mean?What Women WantWhat's Happening to My Body? Book for BoysWhat's Happening to My Body? Book for GirlsWhat's Happening to Tom?What's Wrong with Homosexuality?When Jeff Comes HomeWhen Sex Goes to SchoolWhen the Piano StopsWhere Do We Fall When We Fall in Love?Who Has What?Who's Been Sleeping in Your HeadWilhelm ReichWired for IntimacyWomen and Child Sexual AbuseWomen and MadnessWritten in the FleshYou Know Me WellZen Sex

Related Topics
How To Be GayReview - How To Be Gay
by David M. Halperin
Belknap Press of Harvard University Press, 2012
Review by Hennie Weiss
Jan 1st 2013 (Volume 17, Issue 1)

How to be Gay by David M. Halperin is not; as Halperin points out, a guide on how to become gay (even though this was a popular assumption when Halperin first started teaching the course with the same name), but rather an attempt to answer the question how do (already) gay subjects acquire a gay culture? Halperin does not believe that sexual orientation is the only signifier of being gay, but rather that gay men also acquire a gay culture that is based not on stereotypes and beliefs in essentialism, but rather a collective notion of gay male culture based on queering parts of mainstream heterosexual culture. The focus is therefore on practice, not people.

When discussing the notion of gay male culture, Halperin uses diverse examples (that he states are signifiers of gay male culture), such as Broadway, the performing arts, films (Halperin focuses much attention on Joan Crawford, the film Mildred Pierce, as well as the film Mommie Dearest depicting Joan Crawford's life) melodrama, camp and performance, beauty, the mother daughter bond, the ability to laugh at tragedy, divas, genre and style to explain and depict gay male culture. Halperin does so because he states that there are certain elements of mainstream heterosexual culture that are more alluring to gay men than others. As the book is very long it is necessary to give a short overview of the main themes of the book. At the same time, the connection between displays of masculinity and femininity (and based on ones point of view, the denigration of women) in gay culture does need some further elaboration, especially since Halperin focuses much on gay male culture queering traditionally feminine cultural forms.

"The homosexual desire that gay men feel places them in the subject position of women, and marks them symbolically as feminine, but it also allows them to retain at least some features of traditionally masculine gender roles" (p. 376-377). Perhaps I am reading the book from a feminist perspective, in that I do not necessarily appreciate the almost excessive and spontaneous use of terms such as "feminine" and "feminized" because I feel that they are overused, and also used to denigrate women, to mark them as feminine, even in cases where femininity and masculinity are not necessarily even needed. The constant feminizing of everything that we assume is related to women creates the notion that noting women do is up to par with that of a man.

Halperin is aware of this positioning (particularly from feminists) and therefore elaborates on the tension and misunderstanding of feminist and traditional gay male culture as he states; "…traditional gay male culture consistently delights in excessive, grotesque, artificial, undignified, revolting, abject portrayals of femininity, and it seeks its own reflection in them. It can afford to do so, because gay men, being men, are-unlike women-never in danger of being completely reduced to their social marking or positioning as feminine" (p. 379). In many ways, I agree with Halperin's statements. At the same time, he does not discuss why male cultures, gay or straight, almost always use negative and highly stereotypical depictions of women when positioning themselves in relation to these women (is it because in contrast to the eternally weak feminine, masculine characteristics always come out on top?). It is only in relation to women, it seems like, that men can develop their sense of culture, whether it is traditionally straight or gay, and most often the picture of women they use for comparison and evaluation is not a very positive one.

As such, Halperin also notes that the gay male feminine identification has little to do with women: "Rather it expresses something else-something specifically gay. It actually helps to constitute a gay identity that does not equate straightforwardly with any existing gender position, but that is defined instead by its dissonance, by its departure from the conventional gender map of masculinity and femininity" (p. 374). But almost everything about the book is in relation to gender roles related to or associated with traditional notions and stereotypes of femininity and masculinity. For example, when discussing the more butch and traditional masculinity of the g0y (gay men who do not relate to gay effeminacy) Halperin states that "It would be easy as it would be pointless to make fun of these folks-by observing, for example, that their hearty masculine disregard for the niceties of punctuation is queerly at odds with their suspiciously unrestrained, rather emotional, downright feminine overuse of the exclamation mark" (p. 312). In instances when associations with the masculine is expressed through the use of word such as "hearty" and are associated with the lack of punctuation and words such as "emotional", "unrestrained" and "overuse" is used in combination with the feminine, it is difficult not to note that there seems to be little departure from "the conventional gender map of masculine and feminine" (p. 374), but rather more of a mixing of the two.

Halperin knows that gay male culture can be misogynist, but he distinguishes between gay femininity and gay masculinity in its application of misogyny. "The kind of gay male culture that tends most to misogyny is likely to be the masculine variety" (p. 383). It is beneficial and valuable to distinguish between different forms of gay culture and misogyny, as well as noting that some women feel targeted. Their femaleness therefore seems to be the objective of irony and mockery. "They may feel that gay male aggression is being directed against the very condition of being a woman" (p. 384). The sincerity with which Halperin writes about his own life and gay male culture (along with notions of misogyny) is commendable as it provides a nuanced, but reflective opinion.

How to be Gay is an extensive undertaking as it is nearly 550 pages (including notes and index) and 21 chapters. It is also a fairly difficult read as Halperin also notes. At the same time, How to be Gay is a very interesting and thought provoking book about queerness, one that some people are going to agree with completely while others feel that it is stereotypical and promotes essentialism (even though Halperin states that this is not his attention). The intended audience is both scholars in the field of gender studies, men and masculinity, sociology, and queer studies (even though Halperin states that those in queer studies are less likely to adopt or examine the viewpoints of which he bases the book) as well as a more general audience interested in gay culture, and the queering of mainstream (heterosexual) culture. Even though the level of technicality of language is high, Halperin is able to make it less complicated by providing many diverse examples of gay culture, which further highlights his ideas. Overall, the book is an interesting read that will keep you reflecting over the connection between gender roles and sexual orientation, as well as whether or not there is a distinct gay male culture, or if sexual orientation is the guiding notion.   


© 2013 Hennie Weiss


Hennie Weiss has a Master's degree in Sociology from California State University, Sacramento. Her academic interests include women's studies, gender, sexuality and feminism.


Welcome to Metapsychology.

Note that Metapsychology will be moving to a new server in January 2020. We will not put up new reviews during the transition. We thank you for your support and look forward to coming back with a revised format.

We feature over 8300 in-depth reviews of a wide range of books and DVDs written by our reviewers from many backgrounds and perspectives. We update our front page weekly and add more than twenty new reviews each month. Our editor is Christian Perring, PhD. To contact him, use one of the forms available here.

Metapsychology Online reviewers normally receive gratis review copies of the items they review.
Metapsychology Online receives a commission from for purchases through this site, which helps us send review copies to reviewers. Please support us by making your purchases through our Amazon links. We thank you for your support!

Join our Google Group!

Interested in becoming a book reviewer for Metapsychology? To apply, write to our editor.

Metapsychology Online Reviews

Promote your Page too

Metapsychology Online Reviews
ISSN 1931-5716