I once worked with a man who (along with his wife)
adopted a little girl from China.  That
is a close as I have ever come to observing the workings of adoption or
infertility.  Personally, I had two
pregnancies that produced two healthy babies — one boy and one girl.  So when I started reading Family Bound
it was quite eye opening. 

Ostrea and her husband have been through so much in
order to have children.  All the
treatments for infertility, the clomid treatment, artificial insemination, the
egg donor procedure, in-vitro fertilization, domestic adoption and, finally,
international adoption.  All the shots,
pills, blood tests, doctor visits, surgery, and on and on.  We won’t even discuss the amount of money
invested in the pursuit.  It is all just
mind-boggling.  Then to think that what
was so difficult for her to do, most women work hard at not doing —  that is, becoming pregnant.  

I can see how the process must have been terribly
frustrating and disappointing for the Ostreas. 
It was very wearying and depressing to read about them trying over and
over again, with all it entails, only to end up with no child at the end.  My heart went out to them and to all those
dealing with infertility that want so desperately to have a child to love and
raise.  I am glad they did chose to
adopt in the end because there are so many children who are in need of a loving
home and parents to cherish them.

However, sitting where I am currently in my life, I
have a somewhat different perspective to add. 
You see, I wanted and planned for my children.  But I have had so much grief from one of them that I sometimes
wonder why anyone would put themselves through what the Ostreas, and
especially,Carrie Ostrea did, in order to have a child who grows into someone
who makes your "golden years" into a living nightmare.  What Mrs. Ostra went through on her quest to
become a mother was simply unbelievable to me. 
It seems her desire bordered on obsession.  She has a son now — Ethan. 
She is happy and complete.  She
is beginning a journey that will take her emotions to places they have never
been before.  I only hope and pray that
her journey and her final destination will be worthy of the price she and her
husband have paid to get there.

The book Family Bound is really mostly
excerpts from the journal that Mrs. Ostrea kept throughout her experiences
toward parenthood.  She has made it into
interesting reading and she shares a great deal of knowledge that should be of
great help to those who are traveling the same path.  I certainly recommend the book to anyone who is dealing with the
issues of infertility or adoption.  It
is a great resource and a help to those who may wonder if there is anyone else
out there going through the same trials and tribulations in their efforts to
become parents.

© 2003 Barbara Wright

Barbara
Wright is a former Director of Human Resources with Master’s Degrees in
Human Resource Planning and in Organizational Behavior.  The last 15
years of experience have been in the
Telecommunications Industry.  She has a wide variety of reading
interests and is a member of Reviews International Organization
(RIO).  

Categories: Relationships, Memoirs