In a 2017 New York Times opinion piece My Daughter Is Not Transgender. She’s a Tomboy., Lisa Selin Davis wrote about her daughter, who was 7 at the time. Her daughter, 7 years old at the time, rejected girly clothes and stereotypical girl behavior, and was sometimes mistaken by others for a boy. Her main point was that she was proud that her daughter was thinking for herself and being herself, and she rejected suggestions from others that her daughter might in fact be a boy. The piece got over 1500 comments, generating considerable attention. Davis’s new book, Tomboy, continues that debate. But it is a calm and moderate book, with no major axe to grind. It is rather an exploration and celebration of the idea of the tomboy in modern culture. There is some discussion of the relationship between tomboys and trans kids. Davis is happy to acknowledge that some tomboys may come to identify as males, but she is clear that not all do. 

One of the main underlying points of Tomboy is that back in the 1970s and 1980s, there was less division between gender roles of boys and girls, and it was very common for girls to be tomboys, at least before puberty. Now in the USA there is greater regimentation of gender roles for boys and girls than there was a few decades ago, so there is more assumption that a child who does not conform to their expected gender identity must in fact be a different gender. But Davis maintains that there is no need to assume this.

Much of the book explores the history of gender roles for boys and girls, which is of course very culturally variable. She points out that only 100 years ago, the rule for color coding of gender used to be pink for boys, blue for girls. She notes that while tomboys have often been encouraged, boys who take on feminine traits (“sissies”) tend to be discouraged more consistently. There’s a fair amount of sociology and psychology, measuring social trends and how girls who are tomboys turn out in their sexuality and gender identity. 

Davis concedes that the term ‘tomboy’ has been accused of being dated, and has also been appropriated by some commercial brands that in fact just encourage gender conformity. Nevertheless, she argues that it remains a powerful idea that can still be a useful label in the contemporary world. This echoes the title of her more recent 2020 NYT opinion piece Bring Back The Tomboys.

Davis is a journalist who writes for many outlets and who has written a couple of previous books. She has a lively writing style and she includes personal narratives from others (presumably from interviews she did) throughout the book, which helps to illustrate the more general points that Davis makes. The book could do with being a little more didactic and opinionated, instead of steering away from controversy. It does provide a thoughtful overview of gender options for girls and it is eminently sensible in its analysis.

Christian Perring is editor of Metapsychology Online Reviews. He teaches philosophy in the NYC area and is an APPA certified philosophical counselor.

Categories: General, Sexuality

Keywords: gender, tomboys, sexuality