Being the Other One illumines
the world inhabited by siblings of children with "special needs"
relating, particularly, to intellectual and physical disabilities.  The author,
Kate Strohm, is a counselor, journalist, and health educator, as well as the
Director of a program (Siblings Australia), intended, broadly, to provide
support for siblings of special needs children.  Strohm’s focus is to raise
awareness of vexing challenges commonly confronting the siblings of children
with special needs, and to helpfully delineate strategies designed,
effectually, to enable such siblings to become stronger.  Towards that end,
Strohm unleashes a torrent of shafts, empowered, with keenly penetrating force,
by Strohm’s own life experiences, as the sibling of a special needs sister. 
These arrows help clothe the discourse, of Strohm, in a garment of
insightfulness and informativeness, and will likely implant, in readers’ minds,
a heightened measure of awareness, of some of the special concerns often
affecting the siblings of disabled children.

   Throughout the book, Strohm
expounds, forcibly, the unrelenting mantra that, if a sibling grows up with a
brother or sister with special needs, this will importantly shape the mold of
the sibling’s life.  The shape of the mold, as crafted by Strohm, shows
significant adverse effects on siblings, which may persist, stubbornly, into
adulthood.  Laudably, Strohm admirably succeeds in drawing attention to the
vital need to provide more, and better, support, to siblings of special needs
children.  And her enthralling book, fastened securely to the travails of real
life, is, indubitably, an invaluable contribution to the literature, fitting,
snugly, into the particularized niche of special needs children and associated
sibling issues.

   The first two chapters of the
book focus, sharply, on Strohm’s personal story, of being a sibling of an older
sister afflicted with cerebral palsy.  In careful, very frank detail, Strohm
describes the unremitting familial stress, frustration, anxiety, embarrassment,
confusion, sorrow, and guilt that permeated her childhood.  As recounted by
Strohm, it wasn’t until she was in her forties that, with the help of a
therapist, she was able to sort out some of her feelings towards her disabled
sister, and travel down a path leading to a greater sense of understanding and
self acceptance.

   The anecdotal stories, of
other siblings of special needs children, are the mainstay of chapters three to
eight.  Pithy doses of anecdotal comments, drawn from various siblings, are
interestingly, and instructively, injected into the bodies of these various
chapters.  Strohm, exhibiting the adept erudition of a skilled artisan,
analytically, and insightfully, weaves together the assorted anecdotal
fragments; and, from time to time, intersperses comments, of a germane nature,
concerning her own life.  The finely honed writing saber, of Strohm, cuts
deeply, and revealingly, into the flesh of myriad issues, relevant to siblings
of special needs children.

   Akin to Strohm’s personal
experiences, the stories of other siblings, of disabled children, likewise
reveal:  confusion, worries, fear, panic, guilt, stress, anguish, resentment,
and frustration.  Many of these other siblings, based on their brief comments,
appeared to be inundated by a veritable cascade of powerfully flowing negative
feelings and emotions, tied directly, or at least indirectly, to the presence
of a disabled child in the family.  The negative feelings, moreover, may have
kindled sparks contributing to behavioral and emotional rooted problems, extending
into adulthood, including:  eating disorders, depression, low self esteem, and
lingering anger, fear, anxiety, and guilt.  Strohm also broaches the grief
which may be suffered by the parents, of a disabled child.

   The crux of the last four
chapters, of the book, is to elaborate variant strategies, pertinent to counteracting
the panoply of negative effects, associated, at least indirectly, with having a
disabled family member.  Again, a structurally prominent feature, of these
chapters, is the grafting, of snippets of anecdotal comments, culled from
various persons, into the textual flesh, of the respective chapters.  These
comments are woven together adroitly by Strohm.

   Chapter nine focuses on
devising efficacious strategies, particularly targeting the assisting of adult
siblings, of special needs children.  Helping parents, of special needs
children, become stronger is the over arching aim, of chapter ten.  In chapter
eleven, Strohm is especially absorbed with providing wise counsel regarding how
parents can help their children become stronger.  "Service providers",
meaning:  organizations and persons that a family with a disabled member may
have professional contact with, are the cynosure of the concluding chapter.  An
important goal, of concluding chapter twelve, is to elucidate, in plainly
honest terms, what parents can expect, realistically, from service providers. 
There is, further, an effort made to plant seeds, of ideas, which may grow,
possibly, into improvements in the service system.

   The anecdotal centric
structural mechanism utilized, by Strohm, tilts the book away, steeply, from
the academically entrenched, who may covet the rigors and formalities imposed,
customarily, by academic research.  Strohm portrays an image, of a sibling of a
disabled person, resembling, metaphorically, an oarless boatperson,
frustratingly, and probably unhappily, tossing hither and thither, and making,
perhaps, incremental headway, on a raging sea of tempestuous negativity.  But
an academic cynic may question whether the experiences recounted, in an
anecdotally fragmented way, by the relatively small sample size of siblings,
are truly representative of the overall cohort, of siblings of special needs
children, or whether the experiences described in the book are actually
unrepresentatively aberrant.  In another vein, the counsel, of Strohm,
certainly should not be misused as a surrogate for the expert professional
assistance of capable providers.

   The book’s sparkling contents
should particularly engross siblings, and other family members, of special
needs children, with intellectual flames of edification, and further engross
the close attention of providers attached, professionally, to helping persons
with special needs, enveloping:  psychologists, psychiatrists, social workers, speech
therapists, genetic counselors, nurses, physiotherapists, pediatricians, and
occupational therapists.

©
2006 Leo Uzych

Leo Uzych (based in Wallingford, PA)  earned a law degree, from Temple University; and a master of public health degree,
from Columbia University.  His area of special professional interest is
healthcare.

Categories: Relationships