Michelle Zauner is the main force behind the band Japanese Breakfast.Their first album was Psychopomp, 9 songs in just 25 minutes. It was released in 2016, soon after her mother died of cancer. One of the women on the album cover is her mother. Fans of the band might be hoping for a lot about the music in this memoir, but they will be disappointed. It is much more about Zauner’s relationships with her Korean mother and her Jewish-American father and about Korean food. 

Zauner did a lot of caregiving for her mother as her illness developed. Her father did too, but she says that he found it difficult. Her relationship with him is complicated and he has his own share of problems. Her love for her mother is more straightforward. While they lived in Oregon, she would visit Seoul every two years for a summer with her mother. She came to know her Korean relatives and relate to them closely. 

The combination of a memoir of a daughter caring for her mother through a deadly illness, and thinking about her Korean identity is distinctive. The focus on Korean food is interesting, though it can be hard to relate to without having a good idea of what the food actually tastes like, or the tradition it comes from. Being familiar with kimchi and bibimbap and having gone around H Mart a few times didn’t really enable this reader to get a strong sense of what the meaning of the food. 

The audiobook of Crying in H Mart is performed by Zauner herself, which helps the listener relate to the story. The performance is good, if a little monotonous. There are several elements — various trips to Seoul, her growing relationship with her boyfriend, her extended family, her time at Bryn Mawr, her mourning, and her eventual success as a musician. Definitely worth reading. 

Christian Perring is editor of Metapsychology Online Reviews.

Categories: Memoir, Grief

Keywords: Grief, Korean-American, Memoir