Unlike most parenting books which present at
best a mix of contradictory messages and conflicting advice, Sclafani offers a
refreshing view with practical advice for the concerned, engaged adult
concerned with parenting their child(ren) from infancy to adolescence. Grounded
in an appropriate research literature of the educational and social sciences,
Sclafani’s 10 chapters negotiate the practical parenting territory by
addressing many of the shortcomings of earlier volumes dealing with this topic
(often successfully so). Much of the earlier discussion chapters trace the etiology
of modern parenting concerns, stemming from what Sclafani calls ‘good enough’
parenting (an observation akin to what I call the ‘outsourcing’ of our more
traditional parenting responsibilities), but the work continues to address
these concerns with scholarly seriousness, avoiding the temptation to write a "Parenting
for Dummies"-like text. Although dealing in some detail with specific,
separate chapters concerned with fatherhood, motherhood, daycare and special
needs children (for examples), Sclafani remains consistent throughout, in his
attempt to instruct/educate parents in a considerate manner, taking pains to
accommodate a diversity of attitudes, socioeconomic factors and family
lifestyle choices. Indeed, this volume has to be one of the best that I have
read in this regard, and the author certainly cannot be accused of pushing any
particular socio-political agenda in search of proposals for action. In
contrast, Sclafani’s posture is firmly situated in his reading of some of the
most significant (albethey selective) findings of past and present
socio-developmental and educational research. Perhaps one of the finest
contributions of this text is its timely reminder to the reader of the role of
parents as teachers. Whereas many authors try to merely advise parents
how to better interact with their child(ren)’s teachers, Sclafani revisits the
ways in which parents may themselves ‘take back’ this role for themselves —
the results of so doing thereafter giving rise to a more sustainable, active
family household (of the type most of us claim to prefer, if not only rarely
enjoy on a daily basis !). We read in this book not only some very plausible
explanations as to how many parents have become so relatively ‘disengaged’, if
not actually dissatisfied, with our parenting skills, but are also guided
through some thought-provoking material which can lead the reader to better
plan (and hopefully implement) their interactive parenting behaviour throughout
their child(ren)’s formative years through to adolescence, with care and
consistency. Other special topic sections included in this book will be of
interest to some, but not all, readers (e.g., those dealing with relocation,
divorce or step-parenting), but each is dealt with in the same erudite,
informed way. If I were to raise an issue with the author, nevertheless, I
remain somewhat puzzled by the latter chapters dealing with bodily impairments,
illness and bereavement. These sections were rather incomplete in my view, and
left the reviewer turning to the references for more guidance — and in this
sense, the volume ends rather abruptly, and without returning to the living
world of parenting as a fun and exciting adventure as discussed earlier.
However, if I were asked right now to recommend only a single, comprehensive
volume as a reference for parents setting out to equip and educate themselves
with regards their planning for the ‘better parenting’ of their child(ren),
this would be that book.

© 2006 Tony Dickinson

Dr. Tony Dickinson, PIC (Asia)

Categories: Relationships, Psychology