In her book, The Tending
Instinct, Shelley Taylor provides a new look at how nurturing is vital to
the health and wellbeing of every human being. 
She successfully contradicts the current views in biology-based
psychology that women play little role in the cohesion of society and that
aggressive males are the dominant impetus behind society.  Her ideas, hypotheses, and arguments are
well thought out, original, and validated by scientific fact.

Taylor opens her book with a comparison of two
groups of orphans and how the two groups developed both physically and
emotionally according to the treatment afforded them by the women who acted as
their caretakers.  The comparison
illustrates the discordant development of the two groups, according to the
personalities and tending of the two headmistresses at the orphanages the
children were placed in.  The children
under the care of a cold, cruel headmistress failed to develop and thrive,
physically and emotionally. On the other hand, children under the care of a
patient, attentive, and loving headmistress fared much better emotionally and
had higher body weights, despite the fact that they received lower food rations
than the other group.

 The author
then goes on to challenge the predominant paradigm of primate psychology, which
presents a violent struggle between males vying for dominance.  This idea of a male dominated society leaves
little room for nurturing or supportive social ties.

She shows that the close ties between female
primates, their tendency to group together in the face of threats to one
another or to their young leads to the preservation of their species.

 Presented is
the evidence, skeletal hominid remains, that human beings cared for their sick
and elderly since prehistoric times.

 Taylor makes
the point that environmental factors, like tending, can influence the way
genetic patterns, particularly those of illnesses, emerge or not.

   In Chapter
Two, unsurprisingly, it is acknowledged that women are the primary caregivers
of children, and that the way that they respond to stressful situations differs
from the male’s fight or flight response, so as to protect their offspring from
harm. This enables the mother’s genes to be passed on. Taylor also postulates
that women’s response to stress is more social than men’s. She backs up her
theory by presenting thirty studies with thirty unanimous conclusions, that
women fall back on systems of social support in times of crisis.

   The
mother-child bond is examined in biological terms, stating that hormones,
primarily oxytocin, released after labor play a strong part in the mother’s
bonding with her newborn. Interestingly enough, when experiments with female
sheep were conducted by injecting them with oxytocin the sheep display more
nurturing behavior towards their offspring. Oxytocin is also credited with
sexual behavior, and may be the force that drives women to bond with men.

Taylor cites studies about support groups for women
suffering terminal illness that showed women who participated in these groups
lived longer than women who received only medical care.

Infants’ failure to thrive is ascribed to neglect
and failure on the part of caregivers to provide affection.

One recurrent theme in this work is that of women’s
friendships serving to protect them and their children.

Tending in marriage is explored, and it shown that
married men tend to benefit considerably through the tending instincts of their
wives.  Married men also have higher
life expectancy than unmarried men.  As
a stark counterpoint to married men, a study of post Communist Russian and
Eastern European men showed a sharp decline in their life expectancy, because
they could not marry because of the poor economic situation, and enjoyed none
of the benefits of married life.

Taylor goes on to challenge the idea that in primate
and human society the most aggressive males dominate the society, by presenting
the idea that this is not so, that in fact it is the males with the most social
skills that dominate.

Another study showed hierarchies in groups of
elephants in which older elephants helped to check the aggressions.

 Interestingly enough, it has been shown that boys without fathers
or father figures are more prone to acts of violence. It is suggested that this
is so, because male fathers teach their male offspring how to control their
aggression. This holds true in primate society because mature primates check
younger primates violent tendencies, because the younger primates know they
stand little chance in a fight with an elder.

   It has
also has been observed that if a particularly abusive primate comes to power
within a troop, the females will support attempts to dislodge him from said
position.

  Reiterating
her train of thought in regards to unmarried men’s tendency to have lower life
expectancy, she turns to male baboons without female companionship.  These young baboons live on the edge of
their society, in this case, a troop, and are extremely violent, inflicting
injury on one another.  Without social
support and living on the margins of a troop they are easy targets to
predators.

This is a well-written book, with its central themes
well developed, and backed up with scientific fact and common sense. In
conclusion, any one with an interest in human nurturing should read this book.

 

©
2003 Chris Staheli

 

Chris Staheli is a student of psychology at QCC in
New York. His interest in psychology was piqued by a high school course. He
also studies philosophy. In his spare time, he writes poetry, weight lifts, and
plays jazz and classical guitar.

Categories: Psychology