Woulda, Coulda, Shoulda is a self-help book written by Dr. Arthur Freeman and Rose DeWolf. The book explains to the reader why when people believe they woulda, coulda, shoulda done something in the past, it is in fact self-defeating and restricts their thinking and forward planning. By giving examples of how past events shape the way that we think, the authors describe alternative methods of looking forward. Rather than focussing on, "If only I had married Bill, I coulda had a career," the book suggests examples like "by not marrying Bill, the career that you chose, may have ended in disaster." The authors suggest alternative ways of planning through a set of negative thoughts, and in turn creating a positive plan of action. "I am married to Bill, I missed out on a career, yet I now have the opportunity to return to school, thanks to Bill."

The authors categorize many self-defeating thoughts.  For example, 

• All or Nothing thinking, (If I can’t have exactly what I want, I don’t want anything)
• Overgeneralisation thinking, (I failed once, that means that I will fail again so why try?), or
• Comparative thinking (I don’t measure up to others so in comparison to them I am a failure).

These negative thoughts are explained in a simple and easy way for the lay person to read and comprehend. The suggested alternatives to these negative thoughts are also easy for the lay person to understand, comprehend and with practice, put in to play. The authors not only challenge the reader to put these negative thoughts behind them, but also encourage the reader to look towards a brighter future with positive thoughts.

Bruce Pollard describes himself as follows:

I am currently undergoing a training course in "Everyday Counselling" and also doing a course in Theology.  I am 42 years old and spent 20 of them in the Victoria Police Force in Australia.  I am being treated for Post Traumatic Stress Disorder and have come a long way as a result of the psychological and psychiatric treatment that I have had.  I hold a Diploma in Sports Psychology.  I am physically disabled as a result of a genetic blood disorder, and a spinal injury that I incurred in the Police Force.  My main ambition in life is to keep assisting people as I did, in my prior career, and to help out those, who need that little bit extra help in their lives.

Categories: ClientReviews, SelfHelp, Psychotherapy