This is a clearly written, practical book about recognizing and changing unproductive behavior. It is presented from a psychotherapy standpoint and the reader is addressed as though in therapy with the author. Asker shares the three stages of therapy: exploring a problem; seeing alternatives to the way one has responded in the past; and, seeing that change is possible and can be dealt with in a solution-oriented manner; and it is working through these three stages that form the basis of the book.

I found the psychotherapy model both helpful and frustrating. There are plenty of good examples from Asker’s practice but, since one is a reader instead of actually in therapy, the interaction with the Other which I find so helpful in therapy was missing. Being exhorted, counseled and educated in person is much different and more effective than being exhorted by a book. Books can’t follow through, respond or explain further if you don’t understand the first time and I actually found myself jealous of the author’s real clients because they had this interaction with her and I did not.

The part I liked and found helpful about the psychotherapy approach was its clarity and the author’s sense of normality and can-do-itness. Reading the book gave me a sense of support in struggling with my own problems and the author’s positive experiences and beliefs buoyed up the chances for my own hoped-for success.

Basically the author’s message is, if what one is doing with one’s life isn’t working, Plan A, then one needs to find something that does work, modified Plan A or entirely new Plan B. There’s excellent help recognizing and accepting that something isn’t working and helping the reader get “unstuck” from an unproductive point of view. A lot of this book is good, common sense presented in an orderly, interesting fashion. I would recommend it to those who would like a touch-up or reminder of how to change as well as to those who feel mired in some aspect of their lives.

Categories: ClientReviews, SelfHelp, Psychotherapy